What is The Difference Between a Nanny, Mother’s Helper, and a Postpartum Doula?

This is a question that I get asked a lot. All three are support options for parents and that can get confusing. Parents often want to know how to choose the support that will best serve them, but with minimal knowledge on the nuances it can be hard to know the difference. Luckily, I have insider knowledge on all three positions as I have held each title at some point in my career.

So, let’s start with the basics. A mother’s helper (also known as a father’s helper or, more simply, parent’s helper) is for minimal support. With this kind of support, you are still doing most of the work. Just as it implies in the name of the position, a mother’s helper is there to assist with daily tasks. They are not the primary childcare while they’re around, but can help make your life easier. A mother’s helper takes care of specific tasks for a stay at home parent. They are there to focus on the parent’s needs and help where they might be a spread little thin. A parent’s helper might babysit for short periods of time, chauffeur children to school and activities, do light tidying, some laundry, and meal prep, but they spend most of their time under direct supervision from a parent.

A nanny is for when parents will be away or completely unavailable and their main goal is to supervise the children and manage their needs. A nanny does tasks like making sure children are bathed, dressed, fed, plans activities and playdates, helps with schoolwork and projects, takes the children on outings, and other household chores. What each nanny does is dependent on their individual strengths and what the parents need from them. You can hire a nanny for a child of any age, but they only take care of the children.

A postpartum doula focuses on taking care of both mom and baby specifically during the postpartum period. The care only lasts a few weeks to months as it is meant to support you during your postpartum recovery. They do tasks like baby care and education, care management for the birthing parent, baby laundry, and washing and sanitizing baby bottles and pump parts to make sure that you can focus on healing and bonding with your baby after birth. A postpartum doula, like a nanny, may also do more tasks like depending on their personal strengths. I add tasks like sibling care, nursery set-up, birth prep, grocery shopping, meal planning and prep, general tidying, dish washing, laundry for parents and baby, and more depending on what my client needs. Every postpartum doula offers different services, so it is important to look at what they offer specifically to find the right choice for you and your needs.

Let’s do a quick review.

Mother’s helper:

• focuses on mother’s needs

• is mostly under direct supervision

• fills in gaps in household duties and child care

• works with the parent to give care

Nanny:

• focused on child’s needs

• helps with schoolwork

• plans activities and outings

• is the primary caregiver for children while parents are away

Postpartum Doula:

• cares for parents and baby

• does household tasks

• prepares meals for the whole family

• does light housekeeping

• only during postpartum period

If you are looking for extra support, be sure to pick the best fit for you based on the type and level of support needed. There may be times where you start with one type of support and outgrow it, or need additional support. If you are adding a new addition to the family and already have a nanny or mother’s helper, it may be worth considering adding a postpartum doula to your support team for a few weeks during your recovery.